May 6th 2019
The space that couples create for each other needs to have God within it or else we idolize our partner in that relationship. If we derive our identity and power from them instead of our inner relationship with God then it leads to resentment, frustration, and anger when the fixation of our happiness (our significant other) reveals it's imperfect, ungodly, and human flaws. No one is perfect. There is no such thing a perfect man or perfect woman because we are all flawed in this fallen world. So I think it is so important that a couple be not ashamed of each other's nakedness. (vulnerabilities, insecurities, flaws) and embark on the journey of healing together. We are all naked before God. We can't stand boldly before Him if we are too concerned with cowering in insecurity and crafting the fig leaves of our perfect facades when He comes looking for us. If we can learn to be comfortable and open in our brokenness with the people we are closest with in this life, and truly be known by them for our beauty and our messiness instead of fearing their judgment and rejection, then maybe it would be easier for us to approach God in our own brokenness. Maybe the path to the Kingdom of God is not a graceful elegant solo dance through the gates of paradise while the angles applaud for us. Maybes it is more of an ongoing goofy and awkward stumble with the people we come to love and the only way we can make it is if we are to bear one another's burdens. And we can't bear one another's burdens unless we are willing to disrobe our baggage and be seen in our vulnerability.
We [men] have shame, we have deep shame, but when we reach out and tell our stories, we get the emotional shit beat out of us." And he said, "And before you say anything about those mean fathers and those coaches and those brothers and those bully friends, my wife and three daughters, the ones who you just signed the books for, they had rather see me die on top of my white horse than have to watch me fall off."
"I've come to this belief that, if you show me a woman who can sit with a man in real vulnerability, in deep fear, and be with him in it, I will show you a woman who, A, has done her work and, B, does not derive her power from that man. And if you show me a man who can sit with a woman in deep struggle and vulnerability and not try to fix it, but just hear her and be with her and hold space for it, I'll show you a guy who's done his work and a man who doesn't derive his power from controlling and fixing everything."
-Brene Brown, "Men, Women, and Worthiness" two excepts from that audible production. Listening to it a third time ans still learning so much. Would highly recommend.